Fun with the Marauders
by ghettoginny
Summary: How did the Marauders come to be? What did they do before being Animagus? Made trouble of course!
1. The Excitement of James

A/N: I've only just started writing fanfics… so please check out my others! They're just as awesome. This is mostly diary entries, notes and generally fun stuff about the Marauders and such.

Received by James Potter at exactly 10:00 June 3 from a frightening barn owl who bites:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL Of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY Headmaster: Fernandez Flitwick (Order of Merlin, Third Class, Gobstone Society Leader)  
Dear Mr. Potter,  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.  
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.  
Yours sincerely,  
Geneva Joplin Geneva Joplin,  
Deputy Headmistress

Said by James Potter at exactly 10:01 June 3:

"WOOHOO! Guess what Mum! I'M GOING TO HOGWARTS!"

Then at 10:10:

"Should I pack the blue fireworks or the pink ones? Okay, definitely pink."

At exactly 4:27 on July 6, Zonko's Pink Fireworks go off inside James's trunk. All of his white button ups are permanently light pink. 


	2. New at School

A/N: I think I would've been better off just skipping the first 4 years, but I love a challenge… hope you like this new idea. Disclaimer: all characters belong to J.K. Rowling, yada, yada, yada. Oh and thank you for all the reviews when I saw them all I was so excited I almost had to sprint to the bathroom! pats herself on the back p.s. on MY computer I made all these fun fonts to go with the different writers but apparently my transfer from Microsoft to the internet doesn't merit their awesomeness!

Entered into James Potter's notebook, labeled Property of James Potter, bound in leather:

September 1 Midnight You know, I never cease to amaze myself. Today, on my first day at Hogwarts I've already proved myself as a completely cool guy! Not that I need to prove it, but hey, no one trusts you when you tell them that you're the greatest thing since, SINCE BOWMAN WRIGHT. (who was the genius who developed the Golden Snitch) Well, that might be stretching it a bit…

I was about to purposely accidentally stride into a girl's compartment and watch them all blush, then listen to them squeal once I'd left saying politely that I was sorry. It was my way of establishing myself as very cute in the girl community. Girls never start rumors about you if they think that you're charming. So, I was just walking along when I bumped right into a boy who looked me up and down like a vulture and said snidely, "Nice shirt." I glanced down at my pink button down and smiled saying, "Why thank you! Pink has always been my favorite color…" A younger boy behind him sniggered. "Ah, Regulus. I think my new best friend has got you speechless!"

I raised an eyebrow because I don't really keep in touch with my Inner Eye and didn't know what that meant at the moment. The older boy laughed (they were obviously brothers) and said, "Whatever, Sirius. I'm just glad I'm not first year anymore." Off went the older boy into a compartment. The younger one turned out to be my newest friend, Sirius Black who's first words to me were, "Well, anyone who takes my brother's sarcastic remarks with pride is a friend of mine.

We both started talking and I've come to realize that he's terribly mischievous which is great considering my plans for Hogwarts. He taught me the only spell he knows which is the Alohamora spell for opening locked doors. Anyways, thanks to him, I'm very famous at the school. This is what happened. After I told Sirius about my girl trick, we decided to get some chicks to think we were cute. When we went outside, a boy my age was making rude remarks about some kid named Peter Pettigrew. I being of course one of the nicest people I know told him to knock it off and the hook-nosed fancy pants told me to shove off. He took out his wand and was about to do some serious magic when I pushed him so that he stumbled backwards right into the Prefect's Compartment which I opened with my Alohamora spell! Since there were a few people watching, it's going around the school. Boy, am I going to be popular!

Said in James Potter's head by Sorting Hat:

"Well, you certainly are a genius, but you overflow with bravery and confidence. The nobility of your mind is epic. I'll go with GRYFFINDOR!"

Schedule of James Potter:

6:00 - 7:00 -- Breakfast at the Great Hall 7:15 - 8:15 -- History of Magic with Professor Binns (accompanied by Hufflepuff)  
8:20 - 9:20 -- Potions with Professor Slughorn (accompanied by Slytherin)  
9:25 - 10:25 -- Herbology with Professor Grassina (accompanied by Ravenclaw)  
10: 30 - 11:30 -- Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Dumbledore (accompanied by Slytherin) 12:00 - 1:30 -- Lunch at the Great Hall 1:35 - 2:35 -- Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall (accompanied by Hufflepuff)  
2:40 - 3:40 -- Charms with Professor Sylvie (accompanied by Ravenclaw)  
4:45 - 5-45 -- Astrology with Professor Whitman (accompanied by Hufflepuff)

Written in James's notebook at 8:30 on September 2, during Potions class. Professor Slughorn is blathering on about his relationship with Tim Scotty, Romanian Raptors famous Chaser:

HOGWARTS LOG Slept through History of Magic. Professor Binns doesn't pay attention to you. NOTE- If you want to sneak out, he'll never notice. Professor Slughorn is full of it. He'll love me in about as long as it takes to answer a few questions correctly.

Scribbled by Sirius Black in the margins of James's notebook at 8:32. Slughorn tells Kim Scotty that she'll be a great Slytherin Quidditch Player:

Are you serious? (no, I am!) You're taking notes on this?

Note conversation shared between Sirius and James at 8:33 while half of the girls in class take to staring at the both of them:

James: Of course not! Why would I care about Tim Scotty? He's not half as good as Geraldine Wellsburg.

Sirius:What are you writing then? I hope I didn't become friends with a freaking poet.

J: I'm keeping a log of Hogwarts.  
S: Why the hell would you want that?

J: That way I'll always remember, for future reference.

S: Future reference?

J: Well, I'm going to know this place like the back of my hand by second year.

S: Sounds extremely dangerous. I'm in. Let the fun begin. By the way, all the girls are staring at us.

J: Who could resist ; )

S: Very true, mate, very true.

James's Log:

Professor Grassina- Quirky and bubbly, but knows her stuff. Professor Dumbledore- Genius. Professor McGonagall- Strict but cool. Professor Sylvie- Clumsy but knows her stuff and very strict. (but unlike McGonagall is not cool) Filch- Evil. Mrs. Norris- Knowing that I'm allergic makes it worse somehow. NOTE-- take extreme caution with cats!

Letter from Mrs. Potter to James:

Dear James,

Tell me all about how you like Hogwarts. We send love in the form of chocolate. Hope you're meeting new people . Don't even think about asking for the blue fireworks.

Love Mum and Dad 


	3. A Letter from James

A/N: I thought this was a cool way to tell everything that's been going down at Hogwarts throughout September. Don't worry, the next chapter is super exciting!

Received at the Potter House at exactly 9:17:

Dear Mum and Dad,

I've had a fantastic first month at Hogwarts. I'm learning lots already. The boys from the dorm ate all nice and might even visit this summer. (names- Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Arthur Weasley) I've had great fun lounging by the lake since the grounds here are so beautiful. History of Magic is very exciting and Potions is able to make me laugh every day. I'm absolutely thrilled at D.A.D.A. which is becoming my best subject. I'm also happy with all the luck I've come across over these few weeks.

Love, James

P.S. You're sure you won't send the fireworks?

What that letter actually meant:

I'm learning lots already. -- James refers to his weekend explorations in the castle with Sirius, Remus, and Peter who have become his very close mates.

The boys from the dorm are all nice and might even visit this summer. -- James intends to ask his parents if Sirius, who hates his family, can move in.

Sirius Black-- James's best mate out of all the Dorm Room boys, Sirius had attracted the attention of practically every girl in the first (and second) year Gryffindor House. Aside from one defiant chick named Lily to whom James has become intrigued with.

Remus Lupin -- Thin and tattered, this boy disappeared one night, preventing them from going out the next day. All remain extremely curious.

Peter Pettigrew -- This stuttering boy is suck a clutz and scardy cat that James is close to banning him from explorations. He was only included because he was caught eavesdropping and following them around. James didn't feel like having to figure out a difficult memory spell. Sirius once said that he wanted to know how Peter got into Gryffindor in the first place. ("How do you get enough money to bribe a hat?")

I've had great fun lounging by the lake -- Not lounging by the lake, but pushing a certain someone into the lake. His name was Severus (a.k.a. Snivellus) and he'd infuriated James ever since James had heard him talking about Peter on the train that day. James knew of all the Dark Arts books Snivellus read and despised him for it. Although sometimes, Lily Evans would come down to the lake and protect the greasy-nosed idiot. James minded a bit, but never stopped taunting Snivellus and tipping him into the lake.

History of Magic is very exciting -- Yeah, right. It wasn't the subject at all. In fact, both Sirius and James felt that H.o.M. was especially pointless. The thing was that James and Sirius would have contests to find out who could role a marble farther down the aisle without Professor Binns noticing. For added fun, Remus would set up a few obstacles and the class would silently cheer and even place bets.

Potions is able to make me laugh everyday -- Sirius and James had daily Note Conversations on various things they figured out about the castle whenever they got the chance. It usually involved quirky remarks that made both of them try not to laugh out loud.

I'm absolutely thrilled about D.A.D.A. which is becoming my best subject -- This is the truest sentence in James's letter. He took notes so avidly in D.A.D.A. that there was no possible way for him to fool around in it. He loved Professor Dumbledore and was learning double the spells of any other kid in class. He could already do a shield spell, name every way you could trick a Hinky-Punk, and do a full body lock spell. He was starting to chip away at reading every single D.A.D.A. book in the library. He was up to 7 already. And they were pretty big books!

I'm also happy with all the luck I've come across these few weeks -- He refers here to the progress they've been making with the map they have been plotting. They've found what they suspect are secret passageways but have yet to open them.

And you're sure you won't send the fireworks? -- James is unaware of the fact that his parents threw them out which unfortunately resulted in turning the inside of their garage can bright blue. Speaking of that, James has become very well known for his pink shirts that are now in style. Many a desperate boy have tried (but failed) to turn their button-downs pink. 


	4. Oh, the Curiosity

A/N: Finally the chapter where Remus becomes Moony! I'm so excited. Read, read, read! (and review please and thank you) by the way, I really love being summoned (ahem Bon Bear)

Note Conversation between Sirius and James during Potions on October 13. Slughorn is talking about the theory of a simplistic love potion, which has evolved, into him bumbling on about the time he used a love potion on some girl name Tatiana:

J: It's sickening, really.

S: I know! How can he think himself that great? He's just a short butterball who wouldn't know a werewolf from a unicorn.

J: Not that. Although that's very true.

S: What are you complaining about then?

J: Remus. It bothers me all the time! I need to know where he went that night! Why won't he tell us?

S: Well, there's that little thing I like to call privacy. Your nose is bigger than Snivellus's.

J: Gasp! That would be horrid! And anyways, I'm keeping an eye on him. I can just feel that there's something exciting that he doesn't want us to know.

S: … Aren't you the one always complaining about needing to have your Inner Eye checked? Crumpled up note thrown at Remus Lupin's head during Transfiguration on October 13 while Professor McGonagall was bent over the floor, looking for the glasses that James caused to slide right off the tip of her nose:

Remus -- You've got to tell me! I'll go insane with curiosity! I swear I won't make fun if you tell me that you were making chocolate chip cookies with your Grandma-ma. -- James

Other side of the crumpled up note pegged right back at James who caught it with the reflexes of a cat:

James -- I certainly don't make chocolate chip cookies with my Grandma. And why do you have to be so nosy? -- Remus

New crumpled up note thrown at Remus's head, but missing hitting Peter in the nose:

Remus -- Because, because, because, because, because! BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL THINGS HE DOES! -- Sirius

Back of crumpled up note thrown at Sirius, but caught by James before it even touched him:

James and Sirius -- That was so cheesy, I could have made pizza out of it! Stay out of my business. --Remus P.S. DON'T REPLY WITH A WITTY REMARK!

Scribbled in the margins of Sirius's Transfiguration notes by James, while Professor McGonagall finally picks up her glasses, blushes slightly, and puts them on:

Dammit, I love witty remarks!

For the next week, Remus ignored them.

Entered into James's Log at 7:50 on October 21:

Signs before Remus's disappearance

1. Annoyingly cranky (e.g.- The day of his disappearance, for the first time he complained about the Transfiguration and History of Magic homework and snapped at Sirius and I when we were planning the tragic accident that killed Snivellus.)

2. Nervous (e.g.- The night before his disappearance, he woke up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. I was up late sharing a few candies with Sirius. We asked him what was wrong and he was shaky when he said, "Nothing!")

NOTE: On October 20 I caught him snap at Arthur rudely and then I stayed up all night just to see him wake up again, fighting the sheets. Follow him today!

Remus Lupin's diary on October 22 at 9:00 P.M.:

They've figured it out. I always knew they would. I mean, James is the smartest guy I know and he loves Defense Against the Dark Arts so much! The other night was extremely frightening. I didn't notice James and Sirius following me until after I'd already come out of Professor Dumbledore's office. They were quite sneaky, but I heard them. I think it's just because my werewolf side has a good sense of hearing. I didn't want to tell Dumbledore, for fear that I would get them in trouble. Although now that I think of it, it wouldn't matter. They've already served twice for stupid stuff like hijacking some third year's broomstick and riding it across the Quidditch field.

Anyways, they followed all the way to the Whomping Willow and down the slide after Dumbledore had left. I don't remember anything from the point where I yelled, "You idiots! I'm a werewolf!" Then moon came out and I bet they sprinted out of there faster than you can howl at the moon. Today, they were in shock. Oh God, my misery continues. I just lost all the friends I've ever had! 


	5. Operation: Embarrassment

A/N: OKAY, first of all special message for Reeza: Uh, yea I definitely don't know how I'm supposed to let anonymous people read my stories. Humanites and Pre-al don't make you computer whizzes. (end of special message) In other news: while clicking things in my account I figured out a way to see how many hits I get! Well, turns out that there are about a bazillion people who don't even like me enough to leave a hate note! TCHA! Plus there is one very annoying person who has the nerve to make me a favorite and NOT review. How horrible of them! W.E. Here it comes:  
Conversation between James and Sirius while lounging at their favorite spot under the beech tree by the lake on Saturday, October 23:

"So," James says. He's trying to sound as casual as physically possible. He drags out the O and keeps his eye to the sky. "Remus is a werewolf…"

Sirius nods with equal casualty. (a.k.a. none at all) They both seem tense to passersby. They are also both trying not to say what they were thinking. James let up first.

"Oh my God! REMUS IS A WEREWOLF!" He said this in a stifled sort of tone that ended in a squeak.

"What if he eats us?" Sirius said with a fair bit of fear.

"Er… do werewolves eat people?" James said.

Sirius blinked. "I've no idea."

"Wouldn't he have eaten us by now if he did?" This was surprisingly reasonable for James to say.

"I guess… Maybe we should find out."

"Ew," said James. "How?"

"The Library!"

"The Library?"

"The Library." Sirius said this solemnly as if it would be the death of them. "Wait -- I thought you always went to the Library for your Defense books."

James frowned. "Remus usually gets them for me. I have a fatal fear of Libraries… I had an experience…"

"Amen."

James's Journal. Entered at 10:24 with Sirius breathing down his neck and occasionally whispering things to write down:

Operation: Library

Mission: Get book on werewolves without being seen by anyone of importance. Note: DON'T let anyone else in on this.

Sirius: Stand watch and stall if anyone of importance is seen. Code name: Flamingo

James: Get in and out of the library quickly with the entity in hand. Code name: Tango

The Operation: Library Escapade, preformed at 12:00:

James and Sirius stood down the hall from the library, trying to look inconspicuous. They had looked into painting their faces, but Sirius said that the chance of their perfect looks being damaged was too much of a risk. They flattened themselves against the wall and slid their backs along it. A tall 4th year came walking by. They immediately pretended to be leaning against the wall coolly. When they reached to door, James let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, Flamingo," he said. He had a serious look on his face. "I'm goin' in."

Sirius nodded grimly. James ran inside the library. In seconds, he was out again screaming, "OMFG! FLAMINGO, FLAMINGO! LILY EVANS IS IN THERE!"

Sirius shrugged. "So what?"

James turned bright red.

"HAH! YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON LILY EVANS! Tango, you're in for it. I wish you well." He pushed James back into the library and laughed as he watched. James was crouching behind a little table and he rushed out as soon as the little red-head's back was turned. He grabbed a book that was on werewolves and ran towards the door. He tripped, fell, screamed like a girl, stood up and dove out the doorway.

James hit the floor, nose first. Sirius went into side-splitting laughter. He laughed even harder when Evans walked out stepped over James and said primly, "I love your boxer shorts, Potter. At least the pigs will match your button-downs." She swung her crimson locks a bit and disappeared around the corner.

"Ya know, Tango. I think there's a new meaning for the phrase, 'Get in your pants.'"

Detention slip filled out by Madam Pince at 12:04:

Sent out to: James Potter

For: Disrupting the Library and revealed his undergarments unintentionally

When: Saturday, October 23

Served: October 23, 7:00 p.m. 


	6. James and Sirius are ASSES

A/N: This will be hard for me to write considering the boredom it will probably instill. I can't think of any little cracks I can make in the middle or anything so just bear with me here:  
Conversation between a sheepish looking James, an uncomfortable looking Sirius, and an annoyed looking Remus while lounging in the common room after James had finished his detention:

"We've come to a conclusion, dear friend, James said as he sat down next to Remus who glared at him a bit.

"Oh yes and what's that? Going to make a deal so that I don't eat you?"

"HEY! We're here to tell you that we're sorry." Sirius said this as he shifted moodily in his seat.

"And?" Remus said. He seemed to be taking advantage of this.

"And we should've never followed you."

"And?"

"And we're stupid."

"And?"

"AND WE'RE ASSES, OKAY? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?"

Remus nodded and laughed.

A/N: okay so it's short but I didn't want too many tears shed on my lack of humor. I mean it isn't desolate or tear-jerking but I can do better… Don't persecute me! Werewolves are a delicate matter:( sorry 


	7. Mischeif Night

A/N: Okay I totally haven't thought out this chapter. This is all raw talent so feel the awesomeness, dude. Oh and I read everybody's reviews and am sorry to what's-your-face that I never did Sirius's letter. But then I would've had to do Remus's and Peter's too which is such a waste of my energy. Oh and other person (you know who you are) DON'T DIS THE CHUCK TAYLOR'S. MY CONVERSE SHOES REPRESENT MY COOL-NESS!

Note shared between Sirius and James during Potions on October 30th:

J: So what are we going to do tonight?

S: Um, sleep…

J: NO! I mean for Mischief Night!

S: What?

J: It's a muggle thing.

S: That's exactly why no one cares.

J: Keep your pants on! I wasn't done. it's the night before Halloween where you go out and make trouble. Muggles usually do stupid stuff like teepee things but since we're wizards, we can do just about anything.

S: I'm liking where this is going…

J: So am I. We'll consult with Remus at lunch.

Consulting with Remus over lunch:

"You guys are a bunch of idiots," said Remus with a smirk. "Pass the potatoes. I'm not in on another one of your half-baked schemes!"

"HALF-BAKED? Are you accusing me of being my mother's meatloaf?" James said, infuriated. "I'll have none of that! I hate meatloaf. When have I ever come up with a Meatloaf Scheme?"

"Um," said Sirius looking sheepish at countering James. "Remember when we were trying to find out the measurements of Professor's Sylvie and you almost got into the second detention of the day? That was semi-half-baked…"

"SEMI? SEMI? Of all the betrayal. And you're my best mate! And it was you that said we needed the measurements!" James protested.

"WOULD YOU pass the freakin' potatoes?" Remus said loudly. All the Gryffindors looked over and sniggered. He turned red as he took the potatoes from a smirking Sirius. Once they had all continued eating Remus said, "I suppose it wouldn't be THAT bad to do some trouble-making. But could we get Stephen Gillman? He called me a scrawny whelp and punched me when I didn't give him my homework for him to copy."

James grinned. "Oh, we're gonna get a few Slytherins. In fact, I'm thinkin we should focus on finding their entire house for our map. I mean we already have Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw from following Regina Richards and Tommy Poppert."

Sirius laughed. "Poppert. I love that name…"

James's Notebook. Written during Charms:

Operation: Mischief Night

Preparation: Have Pettigrew follow Stephen Gillman. DON'T TELL HIM WHY!

Sirius: Code name- Flamingo Mission: Distraction of Slytherins to vacate the Common Room/ Keep Watch (Sleeping Charm)

James: Code name- Tango Mission: Cast booby trap spells

Remus: Code name- Waltz Mission: Cast booby trap spells

Operation: Mischief Night. Midnight in the Gryffindor Common Room:

"I still don't understand why I always have to keep watch. Like a dog or something!" said Sirius, annoyed. (A/N hah… that's totally ironic)

"Aww… stop complaining! Buck up, BUCKO!" said James.

"Jeez, James… must you be such a bloody dweeb?" This was Sirius.

"Hey! Don't forget the code names!"

"Alright," Remus intervened before Sirius could strangle James. "Let's go."

When they arrived at the Slytherin House, they poked their head through the door. There was just one person still there. Sirius had already left the poisoned cupcakes from "Professor Sylvie" the House Leader. Slytherins were gullible and basked in their own glory way too much. (This was at least James, Sirius, and Remus's opinions along with the entire Gryffindor House)

Sirius moodily kept watch while James and Remus did a few little tricks with slime blasting out of their wands every once and a while. Remus almost had his attacking thumbtacks attack James which amused Sirius. When they were finished, they started up the steps. The Slytherin Common Room was down in a dungeon and 2 flights separated them from the First Floor.

They were creeping about the Seventh Floor coming vaguely closer to Gryffindor which was unluckily in a TOWER. They were panting quite excessively when they heard it: a meow.

"Oh… poopy," said James. "It's Mrs. Norris. Filch will be around anytime now. We need to hide."

They sprinted, all thinking, "OH, MY GOD! WE NEED A PLACE TO HIDE!" 

Remus skidded to a halt and pointed to a door. They went in and found themselves in perfect madhouse with confusing mirrors, doors and such. "Oddest thing.." said Sirius. "This is the perfect place to hide."

Once the coast was clear they sprinted back to the dorms and dreamed of that peculiar madhouse.

A/N: If you know, don't say… :P 


	8. Room of Requirement

A/N: deviating… I really like that word. (most likely it will show up very soon heh) well yes, bon bear I have been deviating away from the fun stuff but you know I hate writing diary entries and I'm hating myself for it… I'll work harder.. I'm so ASHAMED!

Note Conversation between James and Sirius November 1 during Herbology. It's note-taking day:

J: Discussion Time.

S: What's to discuss? The map is finished as far as we know.

J: Key words: AS FAR AS WE KNOW! Do you really think this castle is just normal? Not a chance.

S: Oh yes and how will we figure everything out then? We're not exactly geniuses.

J: Damnit Sirius! That hurt… I'm as good a genius as anyone!

S: Yeah, anyone under the age of 4.

J: ANYWAYS: You know that absolute clown house we found on the 7th floor? Well, I went up to measure it and put it on the map and it wasn't there!

S: Come on.. Stop pulling my leg.

J: I'M NOT!

S: ARE TOO!

Note Conversation continued after James smacked Sirius in the back of the head:

S: Fine… I'll go up and look for it with you.

J: Cool.

Remus's Diary entry 10:00 November 1:

So, James and Sirius dragged me to the 7th floor to see the madhouse I wrote about before. AND IT WASN'T THERE. James started pointing to the wall and screaming, "I TOLD YOU!" Sirius was floored. He looked bewildered at the fact that James was right. I start pacing back and forth for a bit saying, "Well, how are we supposed to find out what's up with the door."

James goes, "We could ask a teacher…"

Sirius interrupted him saying, "Idiot… like that would work out."

"Not if it's Dumbledore," claimed James

"We need to consult with a book first about this room…" I said that and that's when the door popped up! James and Sirius and I all exchanged freaked out glances.

"Well," said James. "Are we going in or are we just going to stare?"

And then we all clamored into the room to find a small room, with one table in the middle. On the table there were three books. One was in French, the other in an odd language I didn't know and the last was in English. It was called, Disappearances by Zelda VanWinkle. James and Sirius just stared as I picked up the book… It was all about things that disappear!

Excerpt from Disappearances by Zelda VanWinkle that reveals a whole lot to the trio:

Some castles in Finland, Sweden, Norway, Iceland, and few in England have disappearing doors. Some of these doors are of rooms only privy to beauties and some only to the owner of the castle. These are the most common in disappearing rooms. In the famous Hogwarts castle there is one room known to few students and teachers as the Room of Requirement. It only appears when someone walking past needs something.

Note Conversation between James and Sirius on November 2 during Potions:

J: Well… glad we settled that…

S: Yep.

J: Oh my God! I just had a brilliant idea!

A/N: Heh… well sorry for the cliff hanger. Luckily no one blabbed about the Room of Requirement. I wish that had had more jokes… but hey how much funny things can you do when you're listening to the Killers? The word killers just depresses me. 


	9. Darn Tootin'

A/N: welllllll…..thatlast mistake was embarrassing. i sawit and wentAW SHIT! all you actually got was a little preview of the title...WHOOPS!Read it! Review it! 

November 3 Note Conversation between James and Sirius while purposely ignoring Slughorn who tells them for the 3rd time of his escapades with Jiminy Sanderson the great wizard who took on a full grown Hungarian Horntail by himself to save the Egyptians:

J: Do you really believe he knows these people?

S: Um… I don't really know. He might be bluffing, but what's the point. Who can come up with the Schribberlygibbet's Convention for Inquisitive Siberian Painter's, anyways?

J: Yeah. How'd he end up in Siberia in the first place?

S: Dude, the S.C.I.S.P. is held in the Dominican Republic. DUH! Who doesn't know that?

J: Wutev… anywho, what do you think of my plan?

S: Sounds good. But if we're going to use the Room of Requirement for figuring out the castle, how're we to know if there are any books on the stuff we find in the castle?

J: I don't really know… but we'll have to try, right?

S: DARN TOOTIN'!

J: Oh, God. I'm rubbing off.

Note from Remus after being show the note between James and Sirius (shown above):

James-- Did he seriously say "darn tootin" ? --Remus

James's reply:

Darn tootin', he did! --James

Remus's Diary, November 3 at midnight:

Today we tried out James's plan of using the Room of Requirement. IT ACTUALLY WORKED! We stood in the hallway and all got our minds on thinking, "I need a plan of the castle." The door popped open and there on that same table we saw last time, sat the plans of the castle. Written on the top was, "PROPERTY OF THE HEADMASTER".

We discovered that we had only missed a few classrooms, but otherwise their were passages galore. Some led to Hogsmeade, some went underground to all traces of the castle and one even led to the kitchens. We copied to whole of it without mercy. The Room of Requirement didn't happen to be on it, but all the same our map was complete once we'd copied it.

Note from James's parents:

Dear James,

We have some bad news. Your blue fireworks went off in the trash can. When you arrive home for Christmas, you are in huge trouble. YOU'RE VERY LUCKY THIS ISN'T A HOWLER! Hope you're having a lovely time at Hogwarts with your friends. Have fun! Learn lots!

Love, Mom and Dad

A/N: Sorry this one took a while. I've just been wrapped up in my Kenshin and Dragon Knights obsession. Okay, well, ya'll got to read my other fanfic! It really is awesome and my thoughts for the future for that one are epically proportionate. If you haven't read Inkheart and Inkspell then grab your jacket and off to the library you go! BECAUSE INKHEART AND INKSPELL ARE THE MOST FANTASTIC BOOKS THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN!


	10. The Typical Morning

A/N: ack! I haven't updated in forever! Sorry, just been working on my other fanfic lately. Not to mention my trip to FLORIDA! mwahahah!

Letter received at 10:00 on November 30th at the Potter household by Mrs. Potter who was making pancakes:

Dear Mum and Dad,

I've decided to stay home over Christmas break. Sirius needs company since he's staying also. The trouble I'm in might have to wait a tiny bit longer…

Love, James

At 10:02 on November 30th Mrs. Potter was so infuriated by her son that he anger caused her to flick her wand so that the pancakes she was baking stuck to the ceiling.

The usual Hogwarts breakfast. Dialogue exactly taken from December 1st:

"My, my!" exclaims James. "What a beautiful sight to see!"

He is of course referring to the 3rd year couple who insists on snogging every morning. Sirius bends over next to them and pats the boy on the back and says, "You never cease to make me want to vomit…"

"You little jerk!" the third year whips out his wand and says, "Petri--" James laughs and says, "Nice try!" as Sirius hits the boy with a bat bogey spell.

"MR. BLACK! MR. POTTER!" Professor McGonagall comes striding across the hall looking more stern than ever. "You may very well be the worst first years I've set my eyes on! Detention for both of you tonight!"

The third year grins despite being covered in disgusting green globs. He turns to kiss his girlfriend, but she squeals and runs to the other side of the table saying, "Can't handle a first year? We're over!"

James and Sirius snigger and turn to sit next to Remus and Peter who had taken to following them around. James smiles handsomely at the first year girls who chirp with excitement. They all have crushes on him and Sirius. All save for a pretty little red-head named Lily, who sticks her nose in the other direction with distaste. James frowns at this, but forgets all about it as Arthur Weasly pats him on the back saying, "Never did like those two…"


	11. Operation: Ribbit!

**A/N: sorry everyone for everything.. Personal sorries:**

**Irishdancerfromroi: sorry that your internet/computer sucks.**

**Bonbear: sorry for the short chappies.. This one will be longer!**

**Wrightergurl: sorry about the Dumbledore and Regulus Black thing..**

**Everyone: sorry for any typos.. Ginny not perfect**

**GLAD I SETTLED THAT! Now the moment you've all been waiting for: THE CHRISTMAS FOR THE MARAUDERS!**

Note shared between Sirius and James during Potions on Friday, December 22 while Slughorn excitedly blabs about his run in with Lucy Sheldon, the famous muggle actress. His story involves lots of mistletoe and love potions:

S: So… everyone's leaving us.. Boo hoo…Tomorrow we'll be all alone without even classes to entertain us…

J: Yeah well, more chance for us to leave them some "presents" for when they return…

S: You thinking what I'm thinking?

J: Frogs in the 7th year's dorms?

S: Definitely…

J: Yeah. I saw a whole lot of them down by the lake all muddy and stuff.

S: Brilliant. I'll be spending the Saturday before break down by the lake getting all dirty and disgusting instead of graciously receiving the boxes of chocolates that all my crushees are planning to give me..

J: Um.. What crushees?

S: Joan Salem, Lynn Melss, Regina George, Bianca Peddington… I could go on here..

J: Bianca Peddington? Man.. She's hot.

S: Yeah.. Hot and completely obsessed with me. I mean just glance behind us and you'll see her. She's staring at me.

J: She is staring.. But how do we know she's not staring at me?

S: Um.. Duh! I'm a sexy beast. You're just a beast.

J: You're full of it. Plus its totally shallow to be in love with all these girls.

S: I'm not in love with them… they're in love with me!

J: They're just stupid crushes anyways…

S: HEY! You're the one sneaking peeks at Lily Evans in the common room and showing off all over the place whenever she's around!

J: I DO NOT!

S: Oh yeah? Then what was that last night when you whizzing your gay little ladybug that you transfigured from a button? And what about when you were forcing Pettigrew to play Wizard's Chess with you even though you beat him every time? He almost cried!

J: No Comment…

S: Hah!

James's Journal. Entered quickly between Potions and Herbology at 9:20:

Operation: Frog Retrieval

Tango-- Mission:

Small Argument between Sirius and James at 9:21:

J: "I'm gonna hold the box, kay? And you can go into the little swamp area and catch them…"

S: "I don't think so .. There's no way I'm getting muddy."

J: "Well, I don't want to do it!"

S: "Then we'll never get the frogs!"

J: "We could pay someone else…"

S: "I don't wanna cough up all the money that some idiot could dream of so that we get one prank…"

J: "FINE! I'll go in the freakin' swamp…"

James's Journal Entry continued at 9:22:

Operation: Frog Retrieval

Tango-- Mission: Save the world…

Sirius's intervening at 9:22:

"COME ON, NOW! WE'LL BE LATE FOR HERBOLOGY IF YOU KEEP THIS UP!"

James's Journal Entry edited at 9:23:

Operation: Frog Retrieval

Tango-- Mission: Retrieve muddy frogs from swamp and give to Flamingo.

Flamingo-- Mission: Keep watch and keep frogs in box.

At precisely 9:24, James and Sirius simultaneously got up and sprinted all the way to Herbology. They came into the greenhouses panting at 9:26 -- one minute late. 10 points were taken from Gryffindor and Lily Evans looked disapprovingly at the both of them.

Saturday, December 24 at 10:13 a.k.a -- Operation: Frog Retrieval

"Okay, so what are we going to do if someone sees us going up the steps?" said Sirius a bit sarcastically.

Sirius and James trudged silently in the newly fallen snow towards the lake and the swampy area where they knew frogs sat in hibernation.

"Um.. Run?"

"Yeah, nice idea…"

James grinned. "Why thank you, ol' chap!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. Then he stopped and looked down his feet. The snow looked sort of brown and gooey. "UGH! That's disgusting!"

James looked down and soon both of them felt sort of queasy. The muddy swamp-y section of the lake was topped with broken ice and snow. It was the color that made James have to go to the bathroom.. But they persevered. Well… James did.

"Hah! Glad I decided that I wasn't going in there!" laughed a spiteful Sirius.

James's lip curled and he reluctantly grabbed the huge boots they had borrowed from the supplies room in the greenhouse. He pulled them on, rolled up his sleeves and punched his hand into the brown, gooky mud. He felt around for a bit and then pulled out a frozen frog. It was still sleeping, but James knew that it would soon wake.

He soon was loading up the box that Sirius held.

"Come on," prodded Sirius. "That's about enough. See? They're waking --- CATCH IT!"

One of the frogs had jumped straight out of the box and back into the swamp. Not thinking, James dove at it and "PLOP!" He fell face first into the mud. Sirius started laughing hysterically as he put the cover on the box before any other frogs could jump out.

James made a face and lunged. He grabbed the leg of Sirius's pants and they both went rolling in the swamp, slapping each other.

"YOU IDIOT! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!" Sirius kicked James in the ass. James chuckled as they both stood up. Sirius glared. "Well.. We're definitely crossing frogs off our future pranks list!"

Entry in Lily Evans's diary. Written while sitting in the common room at 12:02 next to the fire in the extra cushy chair.

Dear Diary,

Ugh! James Potter has done it again. It amazes me how stupid him and his compadre Black are. They seemed to have some brilliant idea involving frogs. Well, I guess it didn't work out considering what happened in the Great Hall earlier today.

I was coming down the stairs to go to the library so that I could finish that essay Slughorn assigned. I wanted to do an extra bit on the combination of dragonfly wings and essence of Ragweed in the Pepperup Potion. And there are Black and Potter carrying a box through the doors. They were both covered in mud and looked disgusting so of course I said, "Been down any sewers lately, Potter?"

He looked up stunned, and stopped right there. Of course, Black kept going and without Potter to help the balance of the box, he fell over. The lid fell off the top and about a dozen frogs started jumping around the hall! They were obviously attempting a prank!

"POTTER! BLACK! What have you done now?" I screamed, running down the last of the steps towards them. Half of the frogs had started jumping towards me. The other half went hopping towards the doors into the Great Hall. Black and Potter went running after them right through the doors. I quickly muttered _"Wingardium Leviosa!"_ and the one half of the frogs were back in the box. I stuck on the cover and chased after Potter and Black.

The Great Hall was completely in chaos. Since everyone had left for break save for a handful for each house, the breakfast time was lengthened. This meant that the only ones still eating were a few girls who had woken up late and the headmistress who also had a knack for being late. The four girls were screaming and pointing at the frog that had jumped onto their table.

Another frog had decided to hop to the top of the huge Christmas tree and you know who was following it? Yeah.. It was Potter! Of course his weight couldn't stay perched on the top of the branch so the tree came toppling down. It came down right on top of the headmistress who was screaming at Potter. Gryffindor lost 50 points! What am I going to do with those two?

Now they're sitting on the couch across from me laughing at something stupid that James said… I don't have any idea why Bianca fancies either of them! She's an idiot! I pity any girl who ends up with him! Hah! He'll probably be lonely for the rest of his life..

Conversation in the Common Room at 12:05:

S: "Can't wait until we tell Remus! I just know that he'll think its funny."

J: "Yeah. I don't even know why he tries to hide how much he loves us.."

S: laughs "Loves? I don't know…"

J: "Come on! We might as well be a club. I just wish there was some way to cheer him up about his furry little problem. We should go with him once after Dumbledore leaves…"

S: "WHAT! How would we do that? Who knows what he's capable of when he's transformed!"

J: "We could…" They both think for a moment

S: "I got nothing…"

J: "Aw well… we'll think of something.."

S: "What do we do now?"

J: "Resort to planning the demise of Snivellus?"

S: "Sure! Have we said trampled by a stampede of rabbits?"

J: "Good one! But can we change it to frogs?" Both laugh

**A/N: Thanks Tom, for starting my idea for the whole tree thing! Message from Reeza: BRING SHONEN JUMP OR DIE! .. lol**


	12. The 3 Stooges and their Plan

**A/N: I know I know.. I haven't updated in like two months. Go ahead, draw and quarter me. Actually that sounds REALLY painful… so never mind. I put in the lines because this part might be confusing.**

Note between James and Sirius during Potions:

J: Alright, I'm sick of this…

S: Um, what?

J: We haven't pulled a single prank since the Frog Incident. I might die.

S: Same here…

J: We didn't even have a race in HM yesterday!

S: Okay but we'll need Remus for this one. He'll be able to keep us from being extremely stupid.

J: No one can keep us from that, Black. No one.

* * *

Note pegged at the back of Remus's head while Slughorn wrote ingredients on the board:

Moony --

We've got a plan for mischief involving Professor Sylvie and dear old Peevsie. Are you in?

-- The 2 Musketeers

* * *

Second Note pegged at Remus's head:

The musketeers was all him…

* * *

Note pegged at James, but caught in the air instead:

James and Sirius --

Moony? Oh, how witty of you… Yeah, I'm in just to make sure you don't kill yourselves. Actually come to think of it…

Moony (haha)

* * *

Yet another note. Yet again pegged at head: 

Moony --

Well, then we've agreed you're officially Moony. You know, until we forget about it. And do we LOOK emo to you? We're too extremely dashing for that. Killing ourselves would mean to break the hearts of millions.

-- The 2 Amigos

* * *

You know the deal: 

J+S--

More like the 2 Stooges. James is Curly and Sirius is Moe. Does that make me Larry?

Moony

* * *

Yada, Yada : 

Larry --

Yesssss

-- Curly and Moe

* * *

James's Notebook: 

Flamingo (Sirius): Keep watch, you dawg.

* * *

Incident between James and Sirius: 

"I WILL STRANGLE YOU, YOU CONCIETED --"

* * *

James's Notebook (Edited for Content): 

Operation : Drop Bombs

Flamingo (Sirius): Keep watch for Filth, Fughorny, or any other teacher.

* * *

Intervening by Remus: 

"Fughorny? .. You guys are so perverted."

* * *

James's Notebook (Continued): 

Flamingo (Sirius): Keep watch for Filth, Fughorny, or any other teacher.

Tango (James): Suspiciously run around Peeves and return to release the "bombs"

Waltz (Lupin): Run for Professor Sylvie and tell her Peeves is harassing students.

* * *

Sudden Lapse of Dignity from the Marauders to be: 

James grinned evilly. "Oh.. It's on."

Sirius nodded. "This'll be fun."

* * *

Dignity in Four Words, by Remus Lupin:

"Shut up, you twits."

**A/N: Will they screw it up? Most likley..**


	13. Operation: Drop Bombs

A/N: It is official that I have a love for those nifty lines I've discovered. So I will use these lines to no end! MWAHAH! ENDLESS LINES! NO LINE SEGMENTS HERE! Sorry.. Got excited.. I also know that you want to see my awesome and creative way of revealing what's going on in the dastardly minds of the mini-Marauders. But that sucks for you because this chapter will be narrated by James. If you like it, tell me because I will give you an e-cookie because writing like this comes much easier!

Operation: Drop Bombs

January 7, Sunday, 1:34:

"ONE MINUTE! OH EMM GEE!" I jiggled my foot in excitement. Sirius gave me a cold stare and I suddenly assumed a stiff stance. "Sorry, Drill Sergeant," I said with a mocking salute.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Get a grip, Sparky."

I barked.

Moony slapped us both in the back of the head before saying. "Okay-- We're go."

I saluted again and sprinted out of the dorm and through the common room, only stopping for a huge grin at Evans, who made a retching noise. I sighed. She loves me!

I darted down the steps, "Bombs" in hand. I spotted old Peevsey in the 2nd floor corridor, but stopped before my mission to catch my breath and alert the men.

"Miclophonum!" I whispered into my wand. We'd created the charm ourselves. It was like the walkie-talkies the muggles used.. Except our wands were the microphones. You gotta admit -- we have some SERIOUS skills. "Waltz, Flamingo-- you're up. I'll get him to the foyer. Over."

"Roger that, Over and Out," came Moony's voice.

Sirius muttered in the background, "I still can't believe I have to keep watch. I'm not a GIRL for God's sake!"

I chuckled as I stowed my wand back into my robes. Time to do some serious trouble-making. Heh..

I rounded the corner and acted like I didn't notice Peeves circling the ceiling. I stomped about, flailing my arms like an idiot with the bombs flopping all over the place. Peeves remained oblivious. So I continued dancing around beneath him. I even did a pirouette with my robes flapping behind me in the wind.

All the while I looked positively dashing, by the way. I wore jeans and sneakers instead of the usual slacks and loafers beneath my robes. My tie hung down in that messy way that girl swoon over. That's right -- James Potter, Fashionista.

Anyways, Peeves finally noticed me. It took him a moment to decide what I was doing. What with all my jumping and running around, I barely knew what I was doing. I saw his glance and gasped. "Oh no! Not Peeves! You can't know! You'll ruin it!"

My acting skills are top notch, of course.

Peeves laughed. "It's dear, old Potty! In trouble as usual I see! Let me just help you with that."

I hid a snicker and sprinted down the hallway, waving my arms about. Peeves sang behind me cheerily:

"Potty, Potty!

He's quite spotty!

His face, you see, it is real rotty!" 

We reached the Oak Doors in the foyer and I stopped and turned around to yell, "Stop that!"

He sniggered and grabbed one of the bombs and exploded it on my head! I didn't see that coming..

A/N: Yes.. Yet another cliff hanger. I'm drawing this out because I can't quite finish the last half and I can't stand to keep you waiting even more. So I'm just cutting it down. 


	14. Operaton: Drop Bombs Part Deux

**A/N: Okay.. I'm gonna move to Sirius's POV for the next part. Mwahah! Fun, fun, fun for us writers.. All the time.. Always. .. Not lying. I swear.**

**No, Really.**

**Maybe.**

Being Potter's best friend left a lot to be desired. Like integrity for one thing. Which I was missing at that moment. I was standing at the top of the stairs, trying to remain inconspicuous which a bag of charmed, glow in the dark feathers. Yeah, glow in the dark. So if I ever wanted to skulk in the shadows, my plan would be blown.

'Cause I happen to be very hot when I skulk. Skulking is good.

I looked down to see Potter come flailing around the corner of the steps, a few flights down trailed closely by a singing Peeves. Our evil plan was working.

My urge to suddenly explode in maniacal laughter was interrupted by the screams of Potter. It could've passed for a girl's and I momentarily hoped I could save this damsel from.. Whatever. (I do everything from rat infestations to prudeness) But I could tell that scream from a mile away. I stared down.

GASP! He was covered in glue!

.. Shit.

This was clearly not good for our image as trouble-makers. First the frogs.. And then this? Ugh. We really need to work on being smooth. I stood nervously looking over the side wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now? Moony would be coming around with Professor Sylvie and 5.. 4.. 3.. 2..

"What in the world is going on here?"

Peeves turned from the totally-freaking out Potter and the bombs flew from his hand. Moony ducked elegantly and glue smacked all over Professor's hair. Another smacked her in the back. She screeched as a grin began to spread across my face in triumph. I opened the feathers mischievously and--

_WHACK!_

The bag went flying from my hands, down into the foyier. I whipped around. "BLOODY HELL! WHO DID THAT!"

Peter Pettigrew was sprawled on the floor beside my feet. He whimpered out, "S-s-sorry, Sirius!"

My wand automatically flew to my hand. He stared at it, paralyzed in fear. (As he should.) "I'm going to curse you so bad that--"

"MR. BLACK!"

I looked down at the scene of the crime, disregarding Peter dashing away down the hall. James was covered in feathers. Peeves was laughing hysterically from the ceiling and Professor Sylvie stood furiously, covered in glue. I shoved my wand back in my robes. "Yes, Professor?"

"You and Mr. Potter have a lot of explaining to do."

**Short, I know. It took long too but I've been busy this summer. I have a lot of other writing on my mind, not to mention soccer, tennis, vacations, and my forum. I'll be going to London for a week, so don't expect anything too soon.**


	15. Barkerbutt

Wow.. I haven't updated in forever! Jeez.. Sorry about that.

January 8, 7:02, Detention, The paper being scrawled on by James Potter:

I will not conspire to throw feathers at Professor Sylvie.  
I will not conspire to throw feathers at Professor Sylvie.  
I will not conspire to throw feathers at Professor Sylvie.  
I will not conspire to throw feathers at Professor Sylvie.  
I will not conspire to throw f..

7:03, The paper hidden beneath the paper being scrawled on by James Potter:

Writing lines isn't so hard when you're cheating, eh, my doggish friend?

Appears on the paper at exactly 7:04:

Go suck a lemon, Potter. Why won't you tell me the charm?

Potter's response:

You need to learn your lesson you bad boy. Is it so hard to NOT get it on ME?

Continuation:

S: Yes, when you've got a little bugger standing behind you.

J: All you had to do was push him over the balcony. Then not only would we have succeeded in our prank, the world would be a better place. If only it could have been Snivellus.

S: Then I would have sucker punched him.

J: Just for that I think I'll give you the charm. Under one condition.

S: Oh and what is that?

J: That I can give you a ridiculous nickname and you won't cause me pain.

S:….. Deal. But nothing stupid, please.

J: I would never be seen with someone who has a stupid nickname. Now, the charm is Linephageulus.

S: Thank God.

9:00, Gryffindor Common Room, James aspires to create a nickname for Sirius. Conversation follows:

"How about Spike?"

"I told you that I don't want anything stupid."

"That's not stupid! Lots of motorcyclists would love for that name! It's the epitome of Harley Davidson shirts and choppers!"

"It's a dog name."

"At least is wasn't Snowball."

"I'm going to murder you."

"Or Snuffles!" ((A/N: eh, eh! Explanation for THAT one.))

"Oh God, I think I'm going to kill myself instead!"

".. Fido?"

"What is your obsession with dogs?"

"You're the watch dog! S'only fitting.."

"I'll fit you."

"No, no.. I've decided that embarrassing shouldn't be the route. I wouldn't want to go around in the halls going, 'Wait up, Pooka!'"

"Pooka?"

"It's the little dog from Anastasia!"

"Oh. My. God."

"Okay.. I'm thinking something catchy and clever. Like Barkerbutt."

"Absolutely not."

"Bushytail?"

"Dog, not rabbit, you dunce!"

"Oh, right.. Floppy-ear?"

"James!"

".. Wetnose?"

"I should have just written the lines myself."

"Pees-On-Rug?"

".. Okay, now it sounds Indian. Like Dances-With-Wolves.."

"Howl-At-The-Moon?"

"Hah. That's Moony."

"Purina?"

"Get bent!"

"I'VE GOT IT!"

"Just shoot me.."

"Padfoot!"

"I swear I'll-- hey.. That's not so bad!"

"Settled."

A/N: And that's how Sirius got his nickname. 


End file.
